So there are very clearly two distinct halves of Teen Wolf, and those two versions had a solid, decent balance from Jeff Davis' head onto paper in the show's first season, making it both thrilling and humorous. The first version of Teen Wolf is a show about mythical creatures and the teens who become them, and that's been an enormous success. The second version of Teen Wolf is, actively and literally, a show that—until last night—was secretly attempting to be THE GAYEST SHOW ON TELEVISION. Welp, cat's out of the bag, folks: the first 20 minutes of tonight's episode wastes zero time sending Scott and Stiles to save the world from a giant lizard. IN A GAY BAR. FULL OF GYRATING MEN. SHIRTLESS AND GYRATING MEN. WHO GET KILLED BY A GIANT, POSSIBLY HOMOPHOBIC, OR MAYBE JUST AN ASSHOLE, LIZARD.
And look, I get that every television show requires its own suspension of disbelief, and if we want to go back at Gay Teen Wolf's historic timeline, this was a show bold enough to have meaty Derek get shirtless in front of Gay Danny (because that's his only identifier on the show) for the sole means for he and Stiles to retrieve information, and gay men love nothing more than shirtless rebel men. But that scene comes with a wink and a smile and a "hey, we totally know gays watch this show, so this one's for you." Tyler Hoechlin even laughed about it with us. And that's fine. Teen Wolf can have a gay sex orgy if it wants, you know, so long as it makes sense for the story (ie: wolves need to have a gay sex orgy in order to be cured or something LOLZ).
But there are so many incredulous things to this particular moment—the fact that Scott and Stiles are actually underage, the fact that a giant lizard and two werewolves were in a gay club and no one noticed, the fact that every guy in this club was so clearly on steroids and ecstasy, the fact that five jacked shirtless gay dudes were slain and we only cared about Danny (and his dumb stupid ex, apparently)—that it's very hard to take a show like Teen Wolf seriously, and taking a show like Teen Wolf seriously—or at least take it as a show to believe—is the very thing I've been fighting for since the show began. As much as every part of me wanted to just shut up and enjoy it, like I'm sure you'd tell me in the comments, I couldn't help but think that this could have been done in hundreds of equally-as-funny ways, and yet we went with the most extravagant, most contrived way possible.
This is all unfortunate because immediately after the gay club scene, "Frenemy" does everything it can to undo the damage done there, and largely succeeds: Stiles and Scott rescue a de-Kamina'd Jackson and the resulting scenes do incredible wonders for his character, while the duo and Allison wonder just how to save this miserable kid from himself as a single tear slides down his lonely cheek. If there's one thing Season 2 is getting right, it's Jackson, and Colton Haynes is portraying him beyond even the wildest of my wildest expectations.
The Argents are creepier than ever towards Allison as she's interrogated by Gerard (in yet again one of his best scenes, but let's be real, every scene is his best scene) and threatened by Victoria (WHO IS SUDDENLY A SUBSTITUTE TEACHER BECAUSE ARGENTS INFILTRATE EVERYTHING) who would pretty much love to kill Scott but not yet, because it's not the season finale of course. Lydia gets a few great moments in with both Allison and that creeper guy who doesn't have a name yet but really wants to kiss her. Everywhere else functions as a great—better-than-great, even—episode of the show, culminating in a single phenomenal scene between Allison and Scott, where the two contemplate what it'd be like to find a cure, and if Scott were to become a normal human. This obviously won't happen, but it's an interesting field for the show to go and a moving one, to wonder what this would all be like had it never even happened.
And we open up a lot of great points for next week: Stiles is ready to tell his dad about Scott and get charged with kidnapping by Jackson's dad. Allison discovers that Jackson is being controlled by some mysterious new force, a much better agent that eases my anger a few weeks ago when it came to the Kanima just killing because that was its only purpose. But I can't forgive the show for determinedly wasting its first 20 minutes. Can't. Won't.
SumOlogy: Oh, the best of this show and the worst of this show.
Grade: B-
Leftovers
For the record, I myself am gay. So maybe that changes your opinion of my opinion?
Also, loved how Derek was in the episode for all of two scenes, because sometimes I need a break from trying to figure him out.
Wait, did Scott and Allison have sex tonight or not?
Gosh, you just put Stiles/Dylan O'Brien in a scene with anyone and it's great. He definitely nailed some of his best moments ever in the show tonight.
And I am not going to complain about Keahu Kahuanui shirtless. That would just be stupid.
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