As most of the country got walloped with a global warming-induced heat wave this past week, air conditioned movie theatres filled many a butt-sweat stained seat.

Ted, Seth MacFarlane’s stuffed animal bro-comedy rushed to the head of the pack, earning $54,100,000 at the box office, making it the top performer by far this weekend. It comes as no surprise that MacFarlane’s first foray into full-length moviemaking was met with raucous approval, riding on the fairly strong reviews it received as well. MacFarlane’s shtick, whether taxing or sidesplitting, is a guaranteed success due to his built-in audience and diehard Family Guy fan base. Plus seeing a teddy bear take bong rips serves as enough enticement for most.

Steven Soderbergh’s Full Monty impression, Magic Mike, landed at number two on the box office, certainly bolstered by the allure of hot man flesh. He picks the strangest mix of projects of any working filmmaker, making it impossible to predict how well his work will perform. But Mike has a fun concept, surprisingly great reviews, and lady appeal to last eons.

Just as Tyler Perry was being skewered for his turn as action star in Alex Cross, and facing skepticism due to his plans to make a sci-fi film, the newest chapter in the embarrassingly long and awful Madea story did pretty damn well at the box office. Honestly, kudos to him for putting out a movie with Tom Arnold and Denise Richards that makes $26,350,000. That’s a feat of filmmaking prowess in and of itself.

1. Ted-1^st Week-$54,100,000
2. Magic Mike-1^st Week-$39,155,000
3. Brave-2^nd Week-$34,011,000-Total Gross-$131,685,000
4. Tyler Perry’s Madea’s Witness Protection-1^st Week-$26,350,000
5. Madagascar 3: Europe’s Most Wanted-4^th Week-$11,815,000-Total Gross-$180,012,000
6. Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter-2^nd Week-$6,000,000-Total Gross-$29,034,000
7. Prometheus-4^th Week-$4,925,000-Total Gross-$118,262,000
8. Moonrise Kingdom-6^th Week-$4,873,000-Total Gross-$18,406,000
9. Snow White and the Huntsman-5^th Week-$4,405,000-Total Gross-$145,591,000
10. People Like Us-1^st Week-$4,306,000

Phlegm of the Week: Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter. It’d be so easy to keep picking on Tyler Perry here, so I’ll restrain myself from doing it. Lincoln looked like a stinker from a mile away, even as fun as its concept seems. Obviously a great majority of people who saw it felt the same way, warning everyone they knew not to help the 16^th president fight characters from True Blood (maybe he’s just Sookie in disguise). It earned 63.2% less at the box office than in its opening weekend, a calamitous drop that can only portend bad things for the future of this movie and our society’s survival against bloodsuckers.

Gem of the Week: Beasts of the Southern Wild. I can’t use words to describe my level of excitement for this movie. Mostly what happens when I watch the trailer over and over again, is that I start getting really emotional, and people at work start to wonder if my cat died or something. Beasts looks absolutely remarkable, a beautiful, poetic ode to the Bayou and a loving, rich portrayal of childhood. So yeah, go watch it. 

What were you guys watching this weekend? Commence comments!

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[Box Office Mojo]

Comments (2)

Vivian Moran: Ted. I could see the attraction. However, I did not appreciate this movie.

January 4, 2013

Clare Ngai: awww TED :)

July 2, 2012

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