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A Tearful Goodbye To Nora Ephron

Emily Cheever
FilmOlogy
1 Comments

It’s strange when you cry over a celebrity. It’s never happened to me before. Sure, when certain celebrities die you feel sadness, a want to revisit what made you love them and mourn them in a small way, yet they’re only shuffled off into a piece of trivia in your brain. But everyone has those few. Those few celebrities that you latched onto young, and were never able to let go. To me one of those few was Nora Ephron.

Some people would call Nora Ephron the creator of the modern romantic comedy, but in reality she was so much more. She was a pioneer for women in film with a voice that demanded to be heard, always with constant enjoyment. She was a writer that you wished to be compared to, even if you were male. More importantly, she was the woman that you always wanted to meet and have coffee with, just to even bullsh*t around. She was someone that I truly wanted to be.

I became a writer in high school, like everyone else with an excess of hormonal passion. I also liked movies. Therefore, studying screenplays and screenwriters seem to make the most sense in future ambition (you know, other than to escape high school). Then college hit and I was delightfully overwhelmed at the things I was learning and more importantly, what I aspired to. Sure, I had seen the basic Nora Ephron movies during various sleepovers and nights-in. But for once, I learned what I loved about them; their crisp dialogue, effortless yet structured plot and the pure heart that was behind it all.

Ephron didn’t just make an impact in the film world. Her writing transcended cinema. She worked with Women’s Wear Daily, The New York Post and published multitudes of essays and books, including I Feel Bad About My Neck: And Other Thoughts On Being A Woman and I Remember Nothing: And Other Reflections. Additionally, she was politically active. She interned at the White House during JFK’s presidency and due to her marriage to journalist Carl Bernstien (which inspired the hit Heartburn), she was part of a very select few who knew the true identity of the legendary Deep Throat. But film was really her bread and butter, forever changing the landscape of comedy, romance and general storytelling.

Nora Ephron didn’t just weave you a fairy tale. She gave you something tangible that you could enjoy without scoffing at. Her films are graceful and truthful, playing to the most human of emotions, love. Her version of love was whimsical, romantic and sweeping yet rooted in honesty. It made us feel like all women could be Meg Ryan. All men could be Tom Hanks or Billy Crystal. There was some goodness and badness in every character that Ephron wrote, but at the end we forgave all. We ended up believing in the movie kind of love, without feeling like assholes for giving in to the perfect New York moment and the slow swaying jazz.

Her scripts were smart but never condescending; the female characters were both implicitly feminine but strong in belief, much like Ephron herself. This is shown in the famous scene from When Harry Met Sally-

Sally (Ryan) truly handles and celebrates her femininity while triumphing over Harry. But Ephron’s ability to discuss the battle of men versus women was not just a graceful liberation of the romantic comedy lead but also the conclusion that although men think one way and women think another, in the end the goal is always love. Her inclusion of “Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off” in the soundtrack of When Harry Met Sally embodies the essence of this; the quippy and charming back and forth of any couple.

It may be selfish, but I was truly sad to lose Nora Ephron because I wanted to grow with her. I wanted her and I to discuss the ever changing identity of the female, the writer and the filmgoer. I wanted her to watch her read something I wrote, slightly chuckling at a line that was funny, raising her eyebrows when she found something interesting.

But this daydream isn’t what I’ll miss the most. It’s the fact that we have lost a very important icon in the film industry- someone that wrote in a timeless manner that can and will be identifiable in 50 years. It’s because of this that we all just assumed that she would be as immortal as her work. Of course, the inspiration that she’s given us is the most immortal part of her. And for that, we can be thankful. 

Rest in peace, Nora, you will be terribly missed. 

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Follow on Twitter: @EmilyFCheever | @Film_Ology

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Comments (1)

Beth profile picture
Beth Haggerty: beautiful tribute Emily to an amazing women. I am also having a hard time with the fact that she is gone. She was an inspiration to all women. we laughed and cried with her words. I laughed out loud many times when reading I Remember Nothing ..and those movies scenes are forever etched in our minds. Her voice was silenced way too early.
June 27, 2012