For decades, male contraceptives included things like condoms, vasectomies, pulling out (very effective) and castration, and men usually relied on the fairer sex and our whorish, slutty whore-pills to keep conception at bay, but all that's about to change. Sort of.
In an effort to share the excitement of hormonal overload, scientists (chemists?) have developed a new skin patch for men that delivers a combination of two hormones — testosterone and synthetic progestin, also called Nestorone — that effectively reduces sperm production in men. You hear that, boys? You're losing your swimmers, you soon-to-be-spermless unmanly man-girl! Just kidding! Wear it all the time please!
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"This is the first time that testosterone and Nestorone have been applied to the skin together to deliver adequate amounts of hormones that suppress sperm production," said principal investigator and professor Christine Wang, MD. "Men can use transdermal gels at home—unlike the usual injections and implants, which must be given in a health care provider's office."
The study assigned 99 healthy men one of three hormone levels — 10 grams of testosterone plus a placebo gel, or 10 grams of the same testosterone plus a gel containing either 8 or 12 mg of Nestorone — every day for six months. At the end of 6 months, 43 men either used the patch incorrectly or neglected to wear it every day, discounting their results. Of the other 56 men, 23% who used the testosterone-only patch tested for low sperm concentration — less than 1 million sperm per milliliter, gross! — that's "compatible with very low pregnancy rates" and 88-89% of the remaining men that used the testosterone and Nestorone patches saw low sperm concentration levels.
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I know what you're thinking — but what about the fun side effects like weight gain, blood clots, acne and frequent changes in mood or cholesterol levels? NOPE! According to the study, Nestorone contains no androgenic, which is the culprit of the latter two side effects. The jury is still out on if and when other adverse side effects will materialize.
Does anyone else have a feeling that the male patch will be free without a prescription? Let's start legislating the shit out of this! That'll teach 'em! In all seriousness though, 1 million sperm per milliliter of ejaculate doesn't exactly incite confidence in those of us that are trying to ward off pregnancy, so maybe let's test this patch some more before we start handing them out at Planned Parenthoods, shall we? In the meantime, hooray for progress, you guys!
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