You know that friend or relative you have, with that one really uncomfortable opinion on something? Like your Uncle who's otherwise chill unless you get him onto the subject of the Fed, or your friend who once read The Autobiography of Malcom X and now thinks he can hold forth about How Minorities Work? You know, the guys who would be fine if they would just shut up about that one thing?
The Salvation Army is like that guy, extrapolated into a global charity organization. Yes, they ring bells in front of shopping malls circa November-December to guilt you into giving money to for poor people, and sell you mid-level "previously-rutted-upon" couches for prices that should really make you wonder about their level of rutted-uponness.
But they also really, really dislike the gays, and on Monday, their Australian "territorial media relations" person doubled down and said the organization wouldn't have a problem if gays up and died:
Here's the most relevant portion, if you're a reader. Andrew Craibe is the SA rep:
Ryan: According to the Salvation Army, [gay people] deserve death. How do you respond to that, as part of your doctrine?
Craibe: Well, that’s a part of our belief system.
Ryan: So we should die.
Craibe: You know, we have an alignment to the Scriptures, but that’s our belief.
Fun fact: in Australia, homophobes can go fuck themselves counterclockwise.
The Salvation Army's "main-territorial media relations" team to the rescue:
Salvation Army members do not believe, and would never endorse, a view that homosexual activity should result in any form of physical punishment. The Salvationist Handbook of Doctrine does not state that practising homosexuals should be put to death and, in fact, urges all Salvationists to act with acceptance, love and respect to all people.
Well, that's a relief. So, Duplex, tonight, drinks on your contrite ass?
Oh, hold on. The "extra-territorial media relations" department, also known as the New York Times, reports that the organization has a checkered history of refusing to help gay people at its shelters, and that its actual policy on homosexuality is not all that much better than Craibe's on-air version:
The Salvation Army’s "Position Statement" on homosexuality, found on its Web site, reads in part: "The Salvation Army does not consider same-sex orientation blameworthy in itself. Homosexual conduct, like heterosexual conduct, requires individual responsibility and must be guided by the light of scriptural teaching. Scripture forbids sexual intimacy between members of the same sex. The Salvation Army believes, therefore, that Christians whose sexual orientation is primarily or exclusively same-sex are called upon to embrace celibacy as a way of life."
Ah. so the SA just wants gay people to be priests. No wonder that page has been taken down.
Anyway, as your friend who won't shut up about Minorities eventually finds himself disinvited from the parties, howzabout the Salvation Army gets a couple-year time out from the entrance of shopping malls? *rin* *ring*
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