Snooki and JWoww, they've been through it all. From peeing behind empty bars in Seaside Heights to getting punched in the face and having to endure the annoyance that is Sammi and Ronnie. The reality girls are back for their new MTV series Snooki & JWoww and as to be expected, the laughs continue with their ridiculous antics. In this round it's all about choosing the right apartment and the Italian meatball laying down the biggest (didn't she already know?) bomb of all. Oh sure JWoww, I totally want to move in with you but just know that I'm engaged—and pregnant.
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So, here's to the beginning! As Snooki so eloquently puts it, "Sorry neighbors. These bitches are moving in."
"Nicole and I, we're moving in together because I'm about to turn 30 in a couple of years and that’s it. Thirty is my limit so I have three years for like a bucket list to get everything done." – JWoww
"It ain't easy finding a place in the city." – JWoww
Yes, Jersey City.
"I definitely don't want to be one of those kids that are like 40 years old. They still live with their parents…we need to cut the umbilical cord and I need to go and live on my own." – Snooki
So Snooki tells her folks that she's on the move and though reluctant, they say their goodbyes. Not after her dad pulls out his trusty container though with all of his files and life lessons about paying bills. They can just use candles instead of light bulbs to save money anyways because "I know a lot of Amish people do it."
Meanwhile, Roger is having trouble understanding why Jenni would want to do such a thing (I don't know, the money?) and ultimately hopes the last hoorah doesn't mean a gang bang every night.
"I'm scared of telling Jenni my secret just because I'm scared she's going to call off me and her living together. And I'm gonna be like, 'No bitch. Let's f-ckin do this because I need it.'" – Snooki
JWoww sets up a meeting with a realtor at 9 a.m. Do we not remember Snooki cuddling with her crocodiley until at least noon? Ugh, fine. She'll go only if Jenni brings a bagel, which definitely comes in handy later on.
"Mommy's as white as you!" – JWoww talking about her lack of tan to her dog
Let's all just take a moment and repeat that parallel parking scene and the horror that is Snooki's pink truck. Shall we?
Realtor is last to show and Jenni's got to pee.
"Victor? Dude, what the f-ck?" – Snooki
"What vintage shop from the 80s did you pick that up?" – JWoww on Victor's suit
"Yo, there's no toilet paper!"- While Victor's trying to explain the apartment JWoww is on the hunt for paper and luckily Snooki's bagel came with some napkins.
Best Moments From The Apartment Rounds:
"I don't want to live next to couples and families!" – JWoww
"Oh, pretty! Makes me feel like I'm home at Seaside." – JWoww looking at a toilet in the backyard
"Ahh! There's a roach in there." - JWoww
"Oh, f-ck that!" – Snooki on an apartment that was built in the early 1900s.
"Does it echo in here? 'Hello!' Yeah, so I can hear you have sex in here." – Snooki
"Do you guys f-ck? You really don't? Trying to break the ice." – JWoww to the two real estate brokers.
"Ewwww! Why are you so creepy?"- JWoww on a legit pedophile looking man half naked staring out his window.
BOMBSHELL TIME
"So, Jionni proposed and I'm engaged." – Snooki
"No your not." – JWoww
So, Snooki shows her the ring.
"That's not real." BURN!
"We kind of had a reason and its definitely going to change your life…because I'm pregnant." – Snooki
"Instead of life throwing me a curveball it threw me a spermball. Obviously." – Snooki
Oh, yes. It looks like it will be a good season. Let the tan baby jokes commence.
SumOlogy: Clearly a lot of it is staged but the laughs are there. It can't get any worse than the last Jersey Shore season anyway. Right?
Grade: B+
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