Kendrick Perkins hasn't done much in the NBA Finals except serve as the necessary fifth body in Oklahoma City's starting lineup, but that doesn't mean he has no purpose. What exactly is Perk's purpose, you ask? Touting the wonders of low-fat milk.
You can read up on stats and history and everything else you deem relevant before Game 5 tonight, but you damn well better head on over to LowFatMilkHasPerks.com if you have any interest in lactose and Perk. And let's be real, who ISN'T interested in dairy and Perkins, especially in combination?
When Perkins showed up after the lockout looking super skinny, we naturally assumed that he was suffering from cholera. Not the case. It seems as though all that weight loss was the result of drinking low-fat milk. Apparently Perkins started his day with a gallon of heavy whipping cream before making the switch.
The site is essentially two pages a splash and a pagecalled "Lactoid Factoids," where you can get tips like, "1% milk is not watered down whole milk. Anyone who says otherwise deserves a technical foul." You hear that, you milk propagandists? STOP SPREADING YOUR LIES ABOUT MILK.
So. Before you sit down to watch the game tonight, pour yourself a tall glass of low-fat milk. Perk would approve.
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Follow on Ology: Anthony Schneck | NBA
Follow on Twitter: @AnthonyOlogy | @OlogySports
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