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Gabriel commented on Giancarlo Stanton Monster Homerun Sunday Versus the Cubs:
“Amazing home run. Few players in baseball can hit that ball so hard and far. Can't wait for Stanton to earn freedom from the glorified AAA team Marlins and play for a real MLB club.”
Welcome to the Bush Leagues, Manny Ramirez. Listen to the new voicemail that is sweeping the country! It's the best thing I've heard since that batty woman in Nebraska gave an historic anti-gay speech at a city council meeting.
After quitting on, oh, about half a dozen Major League teams, Ramirez (a.k.a. Manny Rodriguez) has now landed with the triple-A Sacramento River Cats, and the River Cats organization is hearing loud and clear from its fans. Because if there's one thing River Cats fans won't tolerate, it's long hair and performance enhancement drugs.
Which is your favorite line from the Manny Ramirez voicemail? Here are mine, and I've bolded the very best parts.
"Hi, I'm a viewer of television and I notice that this Manny Rodriguez has these long, long dreadlocks... a lot of people out here don't feel these players should be able to play with this long hair."
"Of course with these dreadlocks they don't wash that hair for two weeks."
"They should have to cut (their hair). They cut it in the service. They cut it in a lot of sports. You know, I don't think they can have it in swimming."
"They should have rules where they have to have shortened hair, not longer than behind the ears, and maybe they won't get on these performance enhancement drugs."
"Long hair and drugs we all know goes together."
"It interferes, it can hurt the eyes of the opposing players trying to tag them out. It looks horrible. It doesn't look wholesome."
"They should have to abide by the rules. And then maybe they won't do these drugs either."
"I'm a lady and I'm not a fuddy-duddy."
"They're all using steroids and cortisone for energy, and that stuff causes cancer. That's why Lance Armstrong the bike guy got cancer."
"I'm 69 years old and I'm not a fuddy-duddy, but I can't see how this unwholesomeness is crossing America with this long hair and then they do these drugs, and then people start okaying abortion and gay marriage and it gets into a lot of stuff that is not according to the Bible or to American values."
"There's short-haired ones that do them (drugs) too."
"(Long hair) does fly into the second, third, first baseman's face when they tag them out. Of course the catcher has a mask on, a catcher's mask, but still. It's dangerous."
"It's a lazy thing having this long hair. They can cut it short, they don't look good with long hair. A man doesn't look good with long hair, it look horrible. It looks like a girl!"
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