This week, the bros try and throw a pool party for the summer, but things quickly go haywire when Montez sells them a broken hovercraft. Small claims court strikes the fear of God into Adam, Blake, and Ders, who nearly kill each other trying to avoid jail. And all of this—all of it—results in the best episode of the season so far. These quotes prove it:
"Our pool party's ruined! Now it's just guys with cowboy hats squirtin' each other!"
"I'm just trying to be a glass half full guy!" "You're gonna have an ass half-full! Of prison dick!"
"I'm gonna have a big bowl of ass salad."
"Hot dudes like us do not do well in prison, guys! We are like three fresh meat butt steaks just waitin' for a dry rub!"
"Dig the grave, you marshmallow lookin' mother*cker."
"I didn't even get accepted anywhere." "Well, that's not true. You got accepted in our hearts. No homo. Pro bono."
"My arm muscles are my body, Ders. In fact, I think they're most of it."
"Daisy Fuentes' buttcheeks are just gonna be flowin' in the wind."
"Oh, man! We're going to jail and I never got to Eiffel Tower a chick with one of you guys!"
"White folks love smoothies!"
"Hovercrafts are aphrodisiacs."
"My glutes, man! They're just waiting for a good dicking!"
"Are you boys okay?" "Yeah, if you mean almost gettin' decapitated by your sharp ass fence, then yeah! WHY'S YOUR FENCE SO SHARP, DUDE?!"
"So what should we do right now? Should we go get hamburgers? Eat a bunch of hamburgers right now, get fat? So the dudes won't wanna butt-fun us?"
"Yeah, we all have really big dongs. Swear on a stack of Bibles."
"Why aren't you using the briefcase?" "There's nothing inside the briefcase!"
"You've seen every episode of Franklin and Bash." "Who hasn't?"
"I don't wanna call you guys bitches, but… you guys are bitches. You're bitches. You guys wouldn't be able to hurt me. My face is very hard."
"That's definitely our neighbor's dog." "Covered in some of your hair. And possibly jizz. Not mine, though."
"Cowgirl butts just get my thing hard."
"How's he sound so real?"
"You want some Judge Judy in your booty?"
"Sorry, Your Honor. Took a one and a half in my pants on the elevator."
"Chicks are like cats, dude. If you don't keep their attention, they'll wait on top of the refrigerator."
SumOlogy: I don't get where the Chupacabraj fits into all of this, but I don't even care.
Grade: A-
Leftovers
Were those The Black Keys in court?
I can't even pick the standout bro in this episode. Adam definitely started out strong, but I think Blake won by the episode's end.
I thought this episode was so great that I had to look up the writer: Franklin and Bash penner Bill Krebs (which explains the Franklin and Bash line), and I'm pretty sure this is the first episode he's penned for the show. Fantastic.
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