I'm totally embarrassed to say this, but I've got to be honest with myself. It's the only way.
I don't care if Lindsay Lohan snorts coke off of toddlers and bathes in shrooms and is more vodka than human, she seems like a fun chick to hang out with. Like, okay, she's definitely been to rehab more times than I've blinked in my entire life, but look at how witty she can be on David Letterman! It's not only that she takes Dave's banter—most of which is directed at her excessive drug and alcohol usage and upcoming eighty-leventh stint in rehab—but she completely takes control of the interview in a charming (I know), likable (I know), and hilarious (I know!) way, despite sounding like a butch lesbian the entire time while promoting Scary Movie 5 (complete with a Charlie Sheen clip). Watch the full 14-minute interview below!