Finally! Given capitalism's insuperable ability to absorb everything, including cultural paraphrenalia created specifically to undermine it, it was only a matter of time before we got us a Karl Marx credit card. I know what you're thinking, "irony WAAAH," but you already have an MC in your wallet with the logo of Brown University or Reed College, or—god help you—Swarthmore emblazoned on it, so why not just skip the middle man and slap K-Marx's big ole mug right on your skinny plastic? After all, "If only Karl had made capital instead of writing about it," right? Meanwhile my band, Karl Marx Fucked The Maid, remains grossly unappreciated.
Now. What can I get you, sir?
10. A giant novelty bottle of champagne
Obvi. Bonus if one of the servers injures himself while carrying it.
9. Yoga tote bags with Randian slogans
"Money is the barometer of a society’s virtue" is my favorite pose.
8. A digital subscription to the New York Times
Because why settle for only 10 David Brooks articles a month about followershipping the elites, when you could have unlimited access?
7. The combined contracts of John Lackey, Carl Crawford and Daisuke Matsuzaka
Please?
6. A university
Which comes with a bonus CD containing the ability to jerk around a centuries-old institution of higher learning according any batshit crazy idea that squirts into your wealthy pea-brain.
5. Stock in Facebook
I hear it's doing well!
4. Yankees tickets
If you're limit's high enough. #boom
3. Reproduction of the means of production, whereby you sire offspring into order to replenish the labor force, acting in cooperation with the vast capitalist superstructure that uses the family as an ideological vehicle for perpetuating captalist logic under the guise of work ethic and family values when really preemptively neutering possible rebellionous tendencies. Something nice for the kids.
2. Sex In The City, the full DVD box set
Well, do you want a field guide to late capitalism, or not?
1. American Democracy
---
Follow on Ology: Evan McMurry | PoliticOlogy
Follow on Twitter: @evanmcmurry | @OlogyPolitics
Comments (2)