'Degrassi' Recap: "Rusty Cage, Part 2"

08/08/2012

Cam and Maya are watching videos of Cam playing hockey and Maya's just not getting it but doing a great job of pretending to give a f*ck about hockey. And I feel like it's my job to pretend to care about Maya pretending to care about Cam and hockey, but you know what? I absolutely don't care to. Cam approaches Dallas about changing his position on the team and we've got 28 minutes to see where this goes. Credits, leggo!

Since his mom is slowly becoming a raging alcoholic again, KC's all about killing his dad now but Bianca's nowhere in sight with a gun to do the job and Connor only knows how to sniff panties, not shoot people. But out of nowhere, Jenna shows up. She's like, "Oh my gosh, KC! It's been so long… I didn't even know you were still at Degrassi since I completely removed everything from my life that didn't had to do with the thing that came out of my stomach. What was it called? I don't know… BABY. That's right. It was a baby!" KC's like, "Yeah, I still go here. Got any advice on how to kill my dad?" Jenna's like, "Not at all. I only know how to erase people after I've made them."

Fiona is planning revenge on Drew for only cleaning his half of the condo, and Imogen surprisingly sides with the penis, and suggests Fiona stop being a lazy wench and be thankful that she's living with a guy who doesn't hit her, just cleans and farts a lot.

KC is angrily staring at a wall while his mom insists that the whole "completely losing my values and getting wasted with my dysfunctional ex" thing was a one-timer, and she's carted him off to Not In Torontoland. Except who's that banging on the door? You guessed it! KC's daddy! KC's like, "Listen, man. There's only room for one terrible father in this household, and I was here first." Mom considers letting him in, but KC can't trust the bitch in apartment 23 and shoos her away.

Cam gets his right wing position he wanted really badly, but there's 7 seconds left in the game and the score's tied but he's looking absolutely tired. He manages to score the game-winning goal, however! Maya knows what that means because she doesn't know a thing about hockey but she can definitely count! Cam likes winning, but starts to hyperventilate with all the flashing bulbs and reporter questions. Then he uses his hockey blade to cut himself again, because that's just how Campbell Saunders deals with his f*ckups. That was actually tough to watch.

Fiona's home crying because she's poor and doesn't have anyone (except for Imogen, who also talks to Sktitles). Drew offers to be there for her. I think. Maybe he still wants to see some lesbian lovin'.

The next day, no one's seen Cam, and Tristan is secretly hoping Cam's late because he's been staring at pictures of Tristan. Maya's worried. KC is still concerned about his parents, and storms out of class because THERE ARE THINGS IN LIFE MORE IMPORTANT THAT THE DEGRASSI ACADEMIC SOMETHINGORWHAT. Cam's just chilln' at home all this time staring at pictures of his family and ignoring texts from Maya and all the other puck bunnies when he gets the sudden urge to just go home.

Fiona is cleaning her house while Drew is lazily lounging on the couch (really?) and he orders her to fix the clog in the toilet. But she does it, and what did we learn? That cleaning is a woman's job. And putting a wad of hair and dirt down a douchebag's back is also a woman's job.

Maya gets to Cam's just in time to see him hitting the road, and he explains that nothing in life is making him happy so he has no option but to leave. But Maya, optimistic Degrassian extraordinaire, insists that the problem is that he's simply not hanging out with her and Tori and everyone else enough. Because right, Tori Santos' cheery smile fixes everything.

KC calls Jenna over and announces that Jenna has to visit Doug/Ty because KC IS MOVING TO BRITISH COLUMBIA. It's the best thing for he and his mom where they can stay away from their destructive dad, because his parole requires him to stay in the city. Jenna's response is, "Wait. Who is Doug/Ty and why do I have to visit him?" KC's like, "Um, your child, maybe? You know what, I'm not even gonna do this with you, just figure it out." Jenna starts freaking out? What is she going to do now that KC's gone, when she hasn't spoken a word to him all season? And who in the f*ck are Ty and Doug?!

KC hugs Jenna goodbye. And then, you guys, hold on, wait a minute. KC goes to clean out his locker. I'm so confused.

Fiona is happy that she's cleaning and all and Imogen is saying words about stuff but hold on. Wait a minute. Hold on. Is KC leaving Degrassi? Is KC leaving Degrassi or just Degrassi? Fiona's mad about not seeing Imogen's house. Wait, is KC leaving Degrassi?

Cam is sitting on top of a school rail and contemplates jumping. AND THEN HE DOES. WHAT IN THE HOLY MAPLE SYRUP HELL IS HAPPENING ON DEGRASSI?!?!

Wait YOU GUYS KC IS ACTUALLY LEAVING DEGRASSI. I know this because Clare and Bianca and Alli and Jenna and Connor are all outside hugging him goodbye. And this is actually happening. Wait a minute. What are these tears, what is my life, what is happening?! AND IS SOMEONE GOING TO TELL JENNA WHO DOUG IS BECAUSE SHE STILL HAS NO IDEA!

Maya angrily greets Cam at the hospital, who has a broken arm. Maya's already like, "Pretty sure you did this on purpose." Cam's like, "Let's make out." Maya's like, "Okay, sounds good." AND THIS IS SUPPOSED TO MAKE ME FEEL BETTER ABOUT KC LEAVING DEGRASSI?! WHAT IN THE HELL?!

SumOlogy: MY FEELS. MY FEELS MY FEELS MY FEELS!

Grade: A-

Leftovers

I'm literally not understanding what just happened, nor did I expect it, nor am I okay with it. At all.

So that's just IT for the KC/Jenna debacle? They just... that's it?!

I don’t know where the hell they found Dylan Everett, but he is owning this season and complimented probably the best episode of the year so far.

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