C'monnnnn. We've all been there. At least once.
But I have a feeling this might be Gijs van Hoecke's first.
This kid looked like he just went on every ride at Splish Splash. What a rook. Now everyone say it with me, because I know you're all thinking it: "I remember my first beer!"
Anyway, this sloppy joe has reminded us the importance of recognizing and understanding the different levels of intoxication.
JW's Drunk-O-Meter
Level 1: The Buzz
This level is reached after approximately two beers, a glass of wine or one good stiff drink, depending on what you can handle. It allows you to participate in the conversation, yet in a more complimentary role. The buzz is ideal for a romantic dinner with a sweet, innocent date. Not recommended for house music ragers.
Level 2: The Drift
The drift is that push towards phase 3-- that flow of energy that says, I'm not sober but I'm coherent, and I want to inject my opinion. Once the drift is reached, rarely does one stay in this phase for very long. It's generally the gateway stage towards the ultimate and most enjoyable level of alcohol intoxication.
Level 3: The Drunk
Self-explanatory. The drunk phase gives you the confidence to say and do things the buzz or drift phase don't allow. "Your smile is incredible and I want to take your home", "It's on me" or "I f*cking love you bro" are phrases that reflect the "drunk" stage. It's the most versatile phase of the process. One can enjoy themselves in various environments, such as dinner, sporting events, clubs or weddings, and still remain likeable. This is where you want to be, folks.
Level 4: Belligerence
This is the warning phase. The problem with level 4 is that it's nearly impossible to recognize, or care about your state of mind. This phase leads to slurring, falling, bad jokes, uncontrollable verbal injections and an overall sloppy demeanor. If controlled, it works in doses. But understand less is more in this particular context.
Level 5: Overload
See the Olympian above. Loss of bladder and bowel control. Intense vomitting. Inability to walk. Inability to stand. Glossy eyes. Inability to be liked. This phase leads to the inevitable "I'm never drinking alcohol again" line. Like I said, we've all been there at least once.
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