Good morning, futures! I'm writing to you from the not-so-distant past, i.e., yesterday at 1:52 p.m. Do you have flying cars yet? Why the fuck not?
Anyway, present Evan is most likely drinking a tall boy in Washington Square Park right now, so past Evan is pulling double-duty for his lazy ass. Here's the top 10 listicles he would be writing if he were here. Which he won't be. No calls!
10. The Top 10 David Brooks Articles That Make Me Want My New York Times Digital Subscription Back
9. The Top 10 Bruce Springsteen Songs That Will Be Played Unironically At 4th Of July Barbecues Even Though They Clearly Ironize The Holiday
8. Five Lessons We Learned About How Not To Write a Screenplay From Prometheus
7. The Top 1,000,000 Books You Could Be Reading That Aren't 50 Shades Of Gray
6. Five Reasons The Red Sox Shouldn't Have Traded Josh Reddick
5. The Top 10 Listicles I Won't Be Writing Today Because I'm #$%#$ Off! (#meta)
4. The Top 10 Reasons The New "Spider-Man" Movie Will Make Money Despite Being A Tautological Prank
3. The Top 25 Pitching Changes Tony La Russa Will Make In The Third Inning Of The All-Star Game
2. Seven Supreme Court Cases That Will Remind Liberals Why They Hate John Roberts (I may actually write this one Thursday.)
1. The Top 10 Absolutely Batshit Insane Things We're About To Learn About Scientology From The TomKat Break Up
---
Follow on Ology: Evan McMurry | PoliticOlogy
Follow on Twitter: @evanmcmurry | @OlogyPolitics
Comments (0)
Be the first to comment!