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Texas Zombie Attacks Family After Getting Stoned On Fake Weed, Then Consumes Dog

JT Langley
HumorOlogy
2 Comments
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No, before we begin, no: bath salts were not involved. The culprit here is "K-2," "Spice," that false freshness that potheads of a truly inconceivable proportion deflate to when they have to pass that drug test at work, or need some roundabout way of seeming clean. It's synthetic marijuana, which, sometimes induces psychosis rather than that cannabis mimicry, and I'm assuming this was the circumstance for Waco, Texas' Michael Daniel.

| Related: Bath Salt Zombie Attacks New York Police Officer, Further Proves Crack Is Much Safer |

Daniel, a twentysomething getting his kicks off of the nearest smokeshop's cheapest bargain, was seen by neighbors attacking his family in a state of deranged rage after indulging in the aforementioned K-2. It was a literal devolution, as he scuttled around on all fours barking and gnashing his teeth until his attention was drawn away from his fellow hominids...by the family dog.

The dog, whose name has yet to be released, was a victim of proximity, as Daniel grabbed it, tore into its flesh, and proceeded to eat it alive while beating and choking it until police arrived. The dog, as expected, was pronounced dead. No, it's not the silly puppy in the picture above...but it could have been.

| Related: Say Not To Pot: Miami Cannibal Was Stoned, Not On Bath Salts |

Daniel was dragged away for psychiatric evaluation, and then put into police custody, charged only with a felony for animal cruelty. Michael Vick got a worse sentence, and all he did was make the dogs fight.

You want the answer to all of this business? Chemtrails, people. Look it up. Chemtrails.

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Comments (2)

Emily profile picture
Emily Cheever: Poor puppykins
June 28, 2012
Sharon profile picture
Sharon Tharp: Cutest dog ever.
June 28, 2012