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Better Fan-Fiction Presidential Movies Inspired By 'Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter'

Emily Cheever
FilmOlogy
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So tomorrow we're seeing the ABSOLUTELY TRUE AND IRREFUTABLE Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter hit the theaters. It turns out that some of you are actually interested in this movie. Hey, I don’t judge. I like Honest Abe. I also hate vampires (except Jessica on True Blood). So in order to honor this fantastic fan fiction, Ology’s coming up with the next graphic novels/fan fictions/movies about our greatest presidents.

Thomas Jefferson: Slave Sexter

He was a writer of our Declaration of Independence, but only few people knew about his skills in the poetry of love. Armed with the future knowledge of the existence of cell phones, Jefferson must defeat supernatural forces hell bent on destroying the future, holding his one true love Sally Hemings hostage. Starring Val Kilmer.

Andrew Jackson: Party Animal

Everyone knew that Jackson liked to party. He turned the White House into a giant, sexy, non-Indian populated rave. But one night after several swigs of whiskey, he decides to get into a duel with a faceless party crasher. Little does Jackson know that upon the crasher’s final breaths, he curses the president into being a werewolf. Can he dismantle the Bank of the United States before the full moon? Starring Ed Harris.

William Henry Harrison: Premature Emancipator

Harrison was a go by the books kind of guy. Everyone liked him and he liked everyone. But when Harrison finds out he only has a few weeks to live, he starts to reevaluate his life and decides to take some risks that shock the neighbors. Starring Steve Carell.

James Buchanan: Third Wheel

Buchanan had a lot of friends, but frequently grew tired of getting set up by awkward dates. The only trusted member of his cabinet was his niece Harriet Lane. However, when Lane brings home her new Southerner beau Magnus, Buchanan starts to have peculiar feelings. Meanwhile, a war brews and James must decide between his heart and keeping his country together. Starring Hugh Jackman.


Create your own! Add it in the comments and we'll give you a special shout out!


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Comments (5)

Brett profile picture
Brett Warner: Saw a frontpage tabloid headline once that claimed Abraham Lincoln was a closet cross-dresser and that Booth was (no joke) his estranged lover. I think I'd definitely pay to see that on screen.
June 22, 2012
JT profile picture
JT Langley: Anti-Abolitionists. Duh.
June 22, 2012
Sharon profile picture
Sharon Tharp: How is this Abe Lincoln movie getting made? Really, though, who thought it was a good idea?
June 22, 2012
JT profile picture
JT Langley: I still think you should stray from just presidents, such as my aforementioned suggestion: John Wilkes Booth was once an actor, but the business drove him to dirt. Outcast and confused, he begins to hunt Lycans, bartering their pelts with the Iroquois for wampum, and slowly planning his assault against one Honest Abe Lincoln, a frequent fan of theatre...waiting... - Starring Ted Dansen, Ben Affleck, and Good Will Hunting.
June 22, 2012
Evan profile picture
Evan McMurry: I refuse to see any mashup movie until somebody makes "Portrait of a Lady as a Young Man."
June 22, 2012